David Takes On: The Holiday Season

Another day, another dollar, and another story catches my eye as I wind through the series of tubes that is the Internets:

You might have to Google it (banish the thought), but there's a story circulating regarding the quaint and progressive town of Fort Collins, CO. A task force headed up by an ACLU volunteer (a red flag if I've ever seen one) is proposing a ban on, of all things: red and green twinkle lights. This after a more inclusive stance of the holiday season, intended to make this time of year more secular and less offensive to different religions.

Oh, please. Choke me. Fort Collins, you are the latest in a long line of towns, cities, and even states of this great Union of ours that have bowed to pressure from the secular left that doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Instead, they give St. Nicholas the boot and replace him with harmless white lights and scenes of Winter Fun and Excitement such as skiing, snowballs and men (BUT NOT WOMEN) made of snow. So they make no endorsement of religion. Good for them. But if you're going to do it, don't half-ass it, Fort Collins. What about the seemingly innocuous phrase "Happy Holidays"? I guess that's alright, even though the word "holiday" is derived from "holy day", implying a religious overtone. Not everyone believes in God, after all. But I guess "Happy Holidays" sounds a little better than "Happy Season of Gift-Giving and Respective Belief Following Which In No Way Endorses One Dogma, Way of Thought, Or Belief System Over Another". Hallmark would have a fit.

But let's just concede, for argument's sake, that this is a good idea. Why stop at Christmas? Why not ban red, white, and blue on Independence Day for those of us who aren't American? Not of all us are from here, after all. Some of us have come a long way from our sombrero-wearing oppression, too far indeed to have another country's cultures shoved down our throats. Something a little more mild, like maybe, oh, I don't know, NOTHING should about do it.

Honestly, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's appeasement for the sake of appeasement. It seems more trouble than it's worth. Sure, you can be inclusive, but you don't have to take away a freedom of choice. If Christmas offends you, don't put up Christmas-y lights. Put up your secular display! I say this, friends, as an atheist myself. I do not endorse any religion, because I think they're inherently contradicting, prejudiced, and just plain stupid. The opiate of the masses, as it were. But even I don't see a problem with religious-themed displays. That's what some people are into, and no amount of city ordinances are going to make people think otherwise. It's that lack of choice that is going to rub people the wrong way.

So get over yourselves, City Council members of Fort Collins, Colorado. Get your heads out of your collective buttholes and truly embrace diversity by letting people show their true colors, be they red, green, blue, yellow, or "secular."

Happy Holy Days, everyone. Have a little turkey, stimulate the economy by purchasing American-made goods to give to your friends and family, and show your pride with a 20-foot string of lights tacked haphazardly to one of your bushes out front.

Consider yourself taken on, The Holiday Season.